In the words of Jonathan Safran Foer… I have some heavy boots..
Yesterday was unarguably the worst day of my life..
This is how my day went:
- Around one in the morning, I found out the guy I have been with for over a year has been cheating on me. I fell asleep on the couch at 4am.
- At 8am, I woke up, went to the bathroom and peed blood.. alot of it. I was in agonizing pain.
- At 9, I went to school and couldn’t find a parking spot, so I made one.
- At 10am, I got out of my first class and went for a walk. I rolled my ankle in a dirt parking lot and screwed up my bad knee.
- At 11am, the pain was so unbearable I went to the hospital. I have a bladder and kidney infection.
- At 1pm, I went to the pharmacy, they said to pick up my antibiotics and pain meds in a half hour.
- At 1:15pm, I walked to Cici’s to try and eat. I paid for my lunch, went to the bathroom and was in so much pain, I broke down crying.
- At 1:30pm, I went back to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine. They told me it wasn’t ready yet. I walked outside and bawled my eyes out for a half hour. I couldn’t bear the pain. My abdomen felt like it was being torn apart, my heart was in pieces, my ankle and knee were throbbing… my life was falling apart.
- At 2pm, I got my prescription. While I was in line, I was still whimpering and an old man put his hand on my shoulder with a knowing look and said, “I don’t know what is wrong.. but I hope you feel better. You are too beautiful to be in this much pain.” That was the first time I smiled all day.
- At 3pm, I grabbed a blanket and a pillow and tried to fall asleep on the couch. The pain meds were doing their job. I changed the password on my phone, then I fell asleep.
- At 6pm, I woke up to a call from my old roommate. She was going to bring me back to my car and pick up her calculator. After we got off the phone, I had 6 texts and two voicemails. I tried to unlock my phone but couldn’t remember the password. I was locked out of my phone.
- At 6:30pm, she picked me up and took me to my car. We decided we would go to my job (AT&T) to see what they could do.
- At 7:30pm, the girls I work with reset my phone.. I lost everything. No more phone numbers, no more pictures, no anything. I couldn’t remember his number.
- At 9pm, I got to my car only to find a $30 parking ticket under my windshield wiper for making my own parking spot.
- At 11pm, my boyfriend came over. He didn’t know I knew.
- At 1am, I told him I knew. He picked up his phone, jacket, and long board and left. He wouldn’t talk to me. I followed him. He came back to grab a couple things. He was crying. Seeing that hurt more than what he did. I kissed him, told him I loved him and he left.
- At 2:30am, my old roommate picked me up again. We went to the marina I used to work at and sat on the end of a dock. We gazed at the stars. We stared at the black intercoastal passing us by. We watched the moon travel across the sky. We talked, we laughed, we swapped so many stories. I told her horrific stories of my past, of my family. I showed her who is behind this tough exterior.
- At 4:30am, I laid down on my couch with my puppy and cried myself to sleep.
Today was better. I worked an eight hour shift with two women I have grown very close to. I told them about everything, they were there for me. They gave me advice. They didn’t judge me. I am still very sick. The pain has dulled but I haven’t eaten in two days. I haven’t slept in my own bed for two days. Tonight will make it three days. I can’t bring myself to sleep in that bed… I have held it together pretty well (except for my hysterical crying at the pharmacy) until now. I can feel myself coming undone. Everything I value is broken. My heart, my health, my financial stability.. The only thing I have is my puppy and even she is crying because she misses him.
